It is so easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. We all know the drill: you meet someone, you get to know them, you develop feelings for them, and then the guessing game begins. Does he/she like me back? What did he/she mean by that text? Does the heart emoji mean anything? WHAT DOES THE HEART EMOJI MEAN?! Before you know it, your hand accidentally brushes against theirs at a basketball game and you know you both are done for. It's meant to be. And at first, everything is wonderful. You get to call them your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and for some reason those two syllable words hold so much meaning. There are the cute text messages in the morning that leave you feeling giddy all day, the anticipation for the bell to ring so you can see them between classes and the overwhelming feeling of happiness that comes with wearing his sweatshirt or her hairband around your wrist. However, as time wears on, you start to notice a few things you hadn't picked up on before. Like the way she makes fun of your physique by constantly mocking your "scrawny arms". Or the way he insults the clothes you decide to wear. At first, you just brush it off, telling yourself they're just little quirks in their personalities that you'll learn to love. But then it gets worse. She gets mad about a conversation you had with a good friend of yours who happens to be a girl and she yells and cusses at you. Or he gets angry about something he saw on your social media and rips your phone out of your hands, demanding you block the guy that liked your picture. You start to wonder whether or not these should be red flags, right? But then he apologizes. He swears it'll never happen again. She calls you and goes on and on about how you're the best thing to happen to her and how she'll never talk to you like that again. You decide to forgive them again. After all, they're just human, right? People get mad and say things they don't mean...right? So you make up and move on. But it happens again and this time it's worse. She starts screaming and cussing and throwing things and even starts insulting you personally. He punches a wall in frustration and maybe even turns on you. You've never seen this part of them. You never even thought such a side could exist in the sweet person you first fell for. And now you're left wondering...how far is too far? Just how many second chances does a person deserve? Before going on, let me make one thing abundantly clear: we are, indeed, all humans. We will get upset. We will get our feelings hurt. We will get jealous. Our insecurities and our pesty human emotions will rear their ugly heads. However, the mark of good character is how we behave and treat others in the depths of such unpleasant emotions. Through several trials and errors of my own, I've learned that when we truly love another, we do not allow these emotions to influence how we treat our significant others. When we truly care for someone, we know to step back and consider the repercussions of our actions and words before letting our anger take over. When we truly love someone, that love is so much greater than any kind of negative energy that we cannot even fathom hurting them, regardless of how upset we may be. Let me make another thing abundantly clear: none of us are perfect. I know what it's like to think otherwise. I know what it's like to meet someone and think it impossible for that individual to even know the meaning of the word "flaw". However, it is inevitable that the more we get to know someone, the more we'll realize just how very human they are. But this is where true, honest, respectful love comes into play. When we love someone, we choose to admire and respect those idiosyncrasies seen in our partner, rather than complain about them or mock them. Growing up and making my way through the oh-so-terrible teenage years, my mom always told me that love is a choice. I stubbornly disagreed with her. Me and my romantic heart chose to believe that love was something we couldn't help, something that struck you like a sudden bolt of lightning and carried you through the remainder of life on that lovely cloud nine. But then I grew up. I experienced mature relationships. And I realized that love is absolutely a choice. Attraction and infatuation may be involuntary but love is something we must choose every single day. To love someone means to acknowledge the fact that someone is far from perfect, but to choose to be with them regardless, to respect them and encourage them, to look their flaws in the face and say "I see you and I love you". There is one final point I need to make very clear. In fact, if you learn only one thing from this post, let it be this: I have had the honor and privilege of getting to know each and every one of you and I can say with complete confidence that you all deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. You each deserve to be appreciated for the incredible individuals you are. Do not settle for anything less than the absolute greatest. High school is such a difficult time. You're not only trying to learn the curriculum your teachers are guiding you through, but you're trying to learn who you are as a person and where exactly your place is in this world. During this time period, it can be incredibly easy to sell ourselves short, to succumb to the insecurities that are constantly lurking in the corners of our minds, to hide from the world for fear of being labeled "not good enough". I wish that simply telling you to put these fears to rest was enough to get you through this phase. I wish telling you how incredible you are was enough to draw you out of your shell but I know that this is something you will have to work through and figure out for yourself. However, let me leave you with a few pieces of advice: 1) We really do accept the love we feel we deserve. Think that over. 2) Don't let your own insecurities impact how you treat those around you. I truly believe you're all awesome people, but I also acknowledge the fact that we're all human here, like I said above. Don't let your emotions stand in the way of your good judgement. Don't hurt others because of the hurt you're feeling within. Build others up. Encourage them. You'll be shocked at how contagious those good emotions become. 3) I'm going to refer to the wise words of my mom once again. In high school, she told me I could determine whether or not I was in a healthy relationship by asking myself two questions. First: How does he treat his mom and sisters? This will serve as a good hint in regards to how he will treat you. The same goes for you guys. How does she treat her father and brothers? Second: Would I want my daughter/son to be in this kind of relationship? Would I be happy with the way they were being treated if they were in my shoes? More often than not, these questions resulted in answers that were less than desirable. However, it's answering these questions honestly and acting accordingly that led me to the incredible person I am with today. So now that we've laid the basic ground work for relationships, I'd like to talk about relationships that can take a turn for the absolute worst. Please hear me: both women AND men can be abused in relationships. For some reason, our society has put forth the notion that guys are too tough and manly to ever be abused. This is absolutely, without a doubt, 100% false. An abusive relationship is defined as "a state of affairs between two people characterized by wrong or improper action, ether physical or verbal" (dictionary.com). Men can be subjected to this just as much as women. We usually hear about two kinds of abuse: physical and emotional. Here are a couple links explaining each. If any of this information sounds all too familiar, please do not hesitate to reach out and ask for help immediately. You are not alone. You do not deserve to be treated in any of the ways described above. There are people in this school that are here for the sole purpose of helping you through situations like these. I know that experiencing such events often leads us to become blind to those who want to help us. It becomes easy to be sucked into a vortex of depression and loneliness. If you feel uncomfortable or if you know you need help, take that first brave step in asking someone. I promise we will help you in every way that we can from that point forward.
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Holy moly, this thing is incredible. I was searching through resources online to help us better understand loans and budgeting and came across this complete pot of gold. This is a packet that perfectly explains so many things: how to set a budget, how to set financial goals, strategies for saving money, tips for managing credit cards, how to handle identity theft, student loan repayment plans and so much more. It's about 38 pages but every single page has important facts and terms you need to know. This thing is so wonderful, I thought it deserved it's own post.
College is ridiculously expensive. Want to see some scary numbers? It is estimated that you will spend about $38,600 as an in-state student at a four year university. If you plan on going to an out-of-state university, it is estimated that you'll be spending about $99,720. Let's take it up one more notch. If you plan on attending a private university, you'll be dropping a whopping $133,920. Let's crunch some more numbers. I went to IUS and graduated in four years with a B.S. in education. The yearly tuition as an in-state student rang up to $7,072. I also lived in the dorms, which cost $6,775 a year. Books and supplies cost about $1,300 a year. (Keep in mind this number can skyrocket depending on your major. For example, nursing text books are crazy expensive.) After running some estimations, it's fair to say that I spent about $3,200 on personal things such as gas, food and clothing per year. Oh, I also took summer classes twice, which totaled about $3,324. So, after doing way too much addition, I figured the grand total of my college tuition: $76,712. This is where I need to give my parents major credit. They are the reason I know the meaning of hard work and relentless work ethic. Thanks to them, I managed to graduate debt free. However, this is not common. In 2012, 71% of college graduates walked across the stage with student debt. Keep this in mind as you apply for student loans. You are certainly not alone. Student loans are there for a reason. It is a known fact that college is expensive and near impossible to afford on your own as an 18-22 year old. Applying for and using student loans is alright. The key is knowing how to work the system. Hopefully these links will help you figure out what works best for you. FASFA is where it all begins. FASFA stands for the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. This is a form you will need to fill out annually in order to determine whether or not you are eligible for financial student aid. I'm going to be honest with you: this thing is a huge pain. It's tediously detailed and wants to know every single detail of your financial life. Some of you may be thinking that this won't affect you since you haven't had a real job and haven't made much money. You wish. In that case, they want to know everything about your parent's financial status. This being said, this is a form you and your parents will need to work through together. The link below will take you to a fact sheet about FASFA along with the actual form. Go ahead and look through this so you can get an idea about what information you'll need to have come senior year. Figuring out where to begin with student loans can be very intimidating. This document breaks down all the basic information you'll need to start off on the right foot. This is such an awesome resource. It's a document with hyperlinks to tons of awesome fact sheets, infographics, presentations, publications and forms, all designed to help you navigate your way through federal student aid resources. This is definitely something worth reviewing. I found this really simple fact sheet about student loans. It breaks down some important facts in ways that are very easy to understand. If you're like me in the sense that any talk about money sounds like a completely different language, you'll like this. The same website also published a budgeting worksheet that's really easy to work with. Tip: budgeting worksheets are a lifesaver. So are budgeting apps. There are a ton of really wonderful apps out there, most of which are free. Go ahead and start exploring! Student loans may not be the only loans you'll need as your work your way through college. Needing a car loan is a very real possibility. This is a fact sheet about car loans designed to break down some basic facts and help you figure out what exactly you need.
Virtual tours are so cool. You can get an idea of what the campus and dorms look like without having to actually make a trip out there. Here are some virtual tours of some colleges that have been mentioned in class. If you don't see a link to a college you are interested, leave a comment and I will update this post accordingly!
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AuthorHello! Ms. Waiz here. I'm so glad you decided to visit this page! I want to do everything I can to help you succeed in whatever you may choose to do in life. Hopefully this site will help! Archives
April 2017
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